F A N F I C T I O N > V . M A R S
Complication Arises by Amberina
Once upon a time there was a boy who was in love with a boy who was in love with a girl who was in love with a girl who was in love with a boy. It's confusing, but have matters of the heart ever been clear-cut?
Complication arises. The boy that's in love with the girl may or may not have had intimate relations with the boy that's in love with him. The boy that the girl loves might be in love with the boy that the other boy loves, too. It's never circular, never triangular. There are lines jutting out, cutting across the landscape of Neptune. Everyone's connected. Everyone has a heart.
It seems to have started with four. Veronica, Duncan, Logan, Lilly. It was never really just four, though. Never just Duncan and Veronica, never just Logan and Lilly. The sins of their fathers and their mothers continue to rain down hell upon them. No one is faithful, no one is pure.
Weevil kissed Lilly like she would save his soul. Lilly kissed him like she didn't have one. Duncan and Logan were boys being boys doing boys. Video games and hands inside boxer shorts, and all boys do this (maybe just Duncan and Logan, maybe just Weevil). Weevil wants to remember, or wants to forget, or just wants a piece of Lilly, the only piece left (Logan, she loved Logan, if she loved at all) close to him. Inside him. He doesn't act, he fantasizes. He comes thinking of Logan and wishing he wasn't so fucked up.
Lilly died. Weevil and Meg were always there, always peripheral. Waiting, perhaps, to tear their own worlds apart. Duncan and Meg, pretty and sunny, and she ties him up because he asks - she doesn't know if she wants this, but she wants Duncan. She doesn't know why she expected her first time to be romantic, but this is anything but. It is harsh and it's painful, but Duncan loves her. He does.
Veronica loves Duncan and Logan and Meg, she loves Meg. She loves Meg and she doesn't know why. Maybe Meg reminds her of herself before she was embittered and enlivened by death. Maybe Meg reminds her of what she wishes she could be, perhaps what she's glad she isn't anymore. Maybe Meg is just a pretty girl, and Veronica is just a girl in butch boots that isn't butch but could be if Meg asked her to.
They're all sluts - not with their bodies, but with their hearts. It'd be easier for them to deal with if all they were after was sex, but they want something else. They want to feel, and to love. To be loved. To be close to someone. They settle for what they can get, what they think they want.
Logan wants Veronica, wants her like someone in hell wants a glass of ice water. She's his ice water, she cools him down. He warms her up. When they kiss - kissed, when they kissed, it's past, past like Lilly who is dead, dead. Dead by his father's hand, coming in his father's bed. When they kissed, he felt for a short time like things would be okay.
When he kissed Duncan, he felt like everything was wrong and he wanted it that way. He hasn't kissed Duncan for over a year, and at the time he needed that. He wishes he could still need it sometimes, wishes he would allow himself.
Duncan doesn't know what he wants. He just wants to touch someone, everyone. He wants to make them understand why he is who he is. He doesn't say it, can't say it. They need to feel it, feel it when he touches them - his hands roam their own path, taking on a life of their own. Creating life, he never planned on. He never planned...
Meg died. Duncan's a curse. Lilly, Meg, Lilly Lilly Meg. Veronica's alive, though, she's alive. Alive and just. not. there. Not for him, not anymore. Then again, maybe he's the one that isn't there. Maybe he wishes his head would clear for one goddamn minute and then he could figure out what to do. He's a father now.
Complication arises. It's never clear-cut. Duncan, Logan, Veronica, Meg, Lilly, Weevil - it started with four (five, six - there's always been six. Maybe.) - lines jutting out across Neptune. Lines are drawn, and severed, scratched out with spy pens and remade again. No one's faithful until they're dead.