F A N F I C T I O N > V . M A R S
Don Lamb Is by Amberina
01. Don Lamb is not a nice guy. Sometimes he remembers things his mother taught him about manners and morals, but his mother died when he was fifteen. His father was in prison long before that.
02. Don Lamb is not a family man. He has no wife, nor a desire for one. Children disgust him. He is an island. Eventually, he'll be swallowed by the sea.
03. Don Lamb has a routine. No matter what happens in the day, he goes home and he fixes himself something to eat. Macaroni and cheese, maybe, or a chili dog. Then he sits down in front of the TV and he watches episodes of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit that he's TiVo'd.
04. Don Lamb has a boycrush on Detective Stabler. He wants to be that good, that unhinged in just-the-right-way. He can't, though, because Detective Stabler cares in a way that Don has never been able to.
05. Don Lamb has an interesting way of doing things. "There's a new Sheriff in town." It isn't just a cliche. Don is the antithesis to Keith Mars. Men like Keith Mars would never revel in making pretty young things cry for sport. They would also not talk men like Leo D'Amato into dating said pretty young thing in hopes that it would give Leo an opportunity to place cameras inside the Mars home.
06. Don Lamb is smarter than Veronica Mars. He's smarter than Leo, Keith and the whole town of fuckwits called Neptune. They just don't know it yet.