F A N F I C T I O N > B U F F Y V E R S E
Smiles by Amberina
Angel spent three years working side-by-side with Cordelia. She quickly became his best friend and he loved her long before he fell in love with her.
When he did fall in love with her, there were no fireworks. There was no huge, sweeping feeling that made him feel like he was suffocating despite his perpetual lack of breath. It felt like her smile - simple, natural, and undeniably beautiful.
But he had been afraid - to lose that feeling, to have it become a sweeping love affair ending in death. He already had that, and he wanted better for Cordelia, better for himself. He wanted the pure love they shared, the friendship - her smile - to remain.
So he didn't act. He pretended he felt nothing more than the love of a friend. And things still spiralled out of control, and now Cordelia no longer smiles, despite his precautions. She no longer does anything. She lays there, devoid of any sort of life. She's comatose and even with Wolfram and Hart's experts at his fingertips, he can't do a damn thing to bring his friend, his love, her smile, back to him.
He sits in his expensive, well-furnished apartment and he can't help but think of how much Cordy would have loved it. And he realizes he couldn't have had it without everything that happened in the last year.
And he hates his apartment, and every last bit of furniture in it. He hates Wolfram and Hart and all of his employees that called him Mr. Angel and catered to his every whim. He would trade everything in just to see her smile again.
So Angel sits in his gorgeous apartment, and he hates many things - though he mostly just hates himself. He sits in his apartment, that he hates, and prays to a God that he has blasphemed against so many times that one of his employees - that he hates - will bring the girl that he loves back to him so he once again can be graced with her smile.
And after he's done praying, he sits in his luxurious apartment and he waits. And he hopes. And he knows his hope is hopeless but with everything he has, it's all he really has left.